Bedside Table
Which Tissues to Buy for the Bedside Table?
To bring you this valuable information, Sex Toy Testers developed and performed a scientific experiment. Under controlled conditions the semen splatter act was reincarnated by my lovely assistant (Mr. X) He splattered a measured amount (1 tbsp.) of warm wallpaper paste over my naked stomach and then used various type of tissues to clean away the sticky mess. The number of tissues used for the job was recorded. The experiment was repeated for each sample of tissue used, and the apparatus was cleaned thoroughly.
Wilcos Handy Tissues 10 in a pack 2 tissues used Price 9p PPMU1.8p
Blot Kitchen Towel 88 sheets 1 tissue used Price 49p for 2 rolls PPMU0.557p
Asda White Tissues 10 in a pack 1 tissue used Price 14p PPMU1.4p
Asda Smartprice Tisues 150 in a box 2 tissues used Price 34p PPMU0.453p
Tempo 80 in a box 2 tissues used Price 94p PPMU2.35p
Kleenex for men 100 in a box 1 tissue used Price £1.44 PPMU1.44p
Andrex toilet tissue 241 sheets 5 sheets used Price 84p for 2 rolls PPMU1.846p
Notes to Accompany Table
The Table shows the performance of each individual tissue. The price per mop up (PPMU) was calculated using the following formula
Price divided by the number of tissues in a box X the number of tissues used = PPMU
Conclusion
With all this information we can see that Asda Smartprice white tissues were the best value for money with the lowest PPMU. They may be cheap but they can definitely handle sticky moments. However, the packaging is a bit naff it being from Asda’s no frills section and all, and it would clearly stand out on the bedside table that you were a cheap skate, could you take that chance with your reputation?
In second place is Blot Kitchen towel. Again it is its presentation that lets it down, but well worth knowing for those passionate moments in the kitchen when you get fruity on the kitchen table!
Asda White Pocket Tissues cross the line in third place with 1.4p per mop up, although this has a high score on its presentation for its ability to be hidden in a drawer. Another advantage is of course that they also fit in the glove box, your jacket pocket and a handbag!
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